星期一, 二月 21, 2005

无底洞

从小我就有很深的孤独感。我常常害怕那种感觉突然来袭,每次都是没有预兆的,然后我就觉得自己好像快要沉沦了,没有人能够救我。

家人不能,朋友不能,恋人也不能。我总是觉得很没有安全感,很无助。每次那种感觉偷偷侵袭,我就想狠狠地哭。心里像有一个无底洞,没有东西可以填满,而且,有一股力量不断地将我心里仅有的东西抽掉。

不管身边有多少人,我都觉得我是不属于他们的。如果我身在一群陌生人当中,我可以明白。可是我却真真实实地在父母和我最爱的哥哥面前感觉到那无穷无尽的孤独感。有时候我觉得自己几乎就要崩溃。

上帝,救我。

2 Comments:

Blogger David said...

I'm not family, not even lover (why la why?) only friend... so how to help you? :)

But I think human beings can be a little bit odd. These strange feelings and all that. When I was young (and even now sometimes) I would sometimes suddenly feel "cold." Physically and Emotionally. It's hard to explain but there is some fear in it as well. My heart would be beating fast, feel de-energized and all that. I think I usually get it these days if I am like thinking

I do remember sometimes feeling the need to be near people when I get this "coldness". Feel like talking about it to make it go away, but it usually doesn't help. Even if i go to sleep I can wake up feeling it again.

I can only attribute that fear to the fear of "loosing something" I know I felt it once when I had the Nelsen, HM and Me dilemma.

But I guess what I'm saying is, that you're not the only one who feels odd sometimes. Humans are humans alike :)

2/21/2005 8:36 下午  
Blogger yee mai said...

我想它没有来也没有走,它一直存在,和我的灵魂同生同灭。

2/25/2005 4:42 下午  

发表评论

<< Home